Speed up cache size calculation

Instead of calculating the size of the cache repeatedly, which can take
a long time now that it can use a callback, instead cache the size and
update that on insertion and deletion.

This requires changing the cache descriptors to have two caches, one for
pending deferreds and the other for the actual values. There's no reason
to evict from the pending deferreds as they won't take up any more
memory.

synapse/util/caches/dictionary_cache.py

@@ -23,7 +23,9 @@ import logging
 logger = logging.getLogger(__name__)
 
 
-DictionaryEntry = namedtuple("DictionaryEntry", ("full", "value"))
+class DictionaryEntry(namedtuple("DictionaryEntry", ("full", "value"))):
+    def __len__(self):
+        return len(self.value)
 
 
 class DictionaryCache(object):
@@ -32,7 +34,7 @@ class DictionaryCache(object):
     """
 
     def __init__(self, name, max_entries=1000):
-        self.cache = LruCache(max_size=max_entries)
+        self.cache = LruCache(max_size=max_entries, size_callback=len)
 
         self.name = name
         self.sequence = 0