Speed up @cachedList (#13591)

This speeds things up by ~2x.

The vast majority of the time is now spent in `LruCache` moving things around the linked lists.

We do this via two things:
1. Don't create a deferred per-key during bulk set operations in `DeferredCache`. Instead, only create them if a subsequent caller asks for the key.
2. Add a bulk lookup API to `DeferredCache` rather than use a loop.

synapse/util/caches/treecache.py

@@ -135,6 +135,9 @@ class TreeCache:
     def values(self):
         return iterate_tree_cache_entry(self.root)
 
+    def items(self):
+        return iterate_tree_cache_items((), self.root)
+
     def __len__(self) -> int:
         return self.size