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114 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
"An Elementary Look at Campaigns and Elections"
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(Every year, teacher Mike Wilson of Ballwin, Missouri has his
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elementary-school students study the presidential election process in
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America. From the resulting essays and exam papers, Wilson has culled
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some gems of youthful insight and wisdom, not to mention skepticism
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worth of a politics-weary adult. As the 1984 presidential election
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grows near, we offer some of Wilson's treasures.)
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Did you ever think what I used to think about candidates running
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neck-and-neck? Well it is not true.
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Universal suffrage means that even the illegible get to vote.
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Calling a person a runner-up is the polite way of saying you lost.
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The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son
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of his father but a president is not.
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What I learned about elections is that we aren't really getting to
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elect the president. It is some people in a college who get to. I
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have not decided what to do about it yet but I am not going to just sit
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around.
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It is possible to get the majority of electoral votes without getting
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the majority of popular votes. Anyone who can ever understand how this
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works gets to be president.
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Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because
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they became president.
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The more I think about trying to run for president the less I think of
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it.
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The president has the power to appoint and disappoint the members of
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his cabinet.
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Much has been said about balancing the budget. It has been found that
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the budget is more talkable than balanceable.
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The campaign is when the candidate tells what he stand for and the
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election is when the votes tell if they can stand for his being elected.
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Actually, elections are different from politics. Elections come and go
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while politics are with us all the time.
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The winning candidate is elected and inoculated.
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In January, the president makes his Inaugural Address after he has been
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sworn at.
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Once he is elected, sometimes the president has to work 24 hours a day
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until he finds out what he is supposed to do.
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The nominees are usually called candidates or campaigners although I
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have heard them called other things.
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One of the strictest rules is all dark horses running for president must
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be people.
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Popular votes tell who is the most popular. Electoral votes tell who
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is the most elected.
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Heredity is a bad thing in politics because it gets us kings instead of
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presidents.
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A caucus is something people vote in. Sort of a small booth.
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An overwhelming favorite is a candidate that often comes over to the
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convention and whelms the delegates.
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The jobs of delegates is to resent their states.
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Noncommittal is to be able to talk and talk without saying anything.
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When the radio mentions a landslide, cross your fingers and hope it is
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talking about an election.
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A dark horse is a candidate that the delegates don't know enough about
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to dislike yet.
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Political science is to try to figure out what makes candidates act
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that way.
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A split ticket is when you don't like any of them on the ticket so you
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tear it up.
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When they talk about the most promising presidential candidate, they
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mean the one who can think of the most things to promise.
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Elephants and donkeys never fought until politics came along.
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Political strategy is when you don't let people know you have run out
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of ideas and keep shouting anyway.
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A candidate should always renounce his words carefully.
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We are learning how to make our election results known quicker and
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quicker. It is our campaigns we are having trouble getting any shorter.
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One of the mainest rules of campaigning is you are not allowed to go on
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a whistle-stop tour without a train.
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Politician is the bawling out name for a candidate you don't like.
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Speaking of defeat, candidates are told never to.
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Campaigns give us a great deal of happiness by their finally ending.
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[ Reported collection source, Ford Times ]
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