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119 lines
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119 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
(From the Weekly World News, June 7, 1994)
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Shocking confessions rock nation's capital!
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12 U.S. SENATORS ARE SPACE ALIENS!
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by Nick Mann - Special report
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WASHINGTON - A space alien who stunned the world by revealing that
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five U.S. Senators were extraterrestrials in 1992 dropped another
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bombshell when he met with President Bill Clinton in the White House just
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days ago -- and named seven more senators who hail from distant planets!
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And far from denying the extraterrestrial's allegations, Senators Phil
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Gramm, Dennis DeConcini, John D. Rockefeller IV, Bennett Johnston,
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Howell Heflin, Christopher Dodd, and William S. Cohen conceded that
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"the time is right to make our true identities known."
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"Senators John Glenn, Orrin Hatch, Nancy Kassebaum, Sam Nunn, and
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Alan Simpson came out of the alien closet two years ago and now we find
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that seven more senators are not from Earth," said author and UFO expert
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Nathaniel Dean, who identified the first group of space alien senators in a
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news conference that made international headlines in November 1992.
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"The implications," he continued, "are almost beyond comprehension. For
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one thing, we now know that the destiny of the most powerful nation on
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Earth is being shaped and guided by entities who aren't even human.
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"I'm not saying that this is bad, because it might very well be good.
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"If the universe is inhabited by other creatures and civilizations, we need to
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know about them.
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"We also need linkage.
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"And if nothing else, these space alien legislators can serve as our links to a
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world that is even more advanced than our own."
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Dean's report stunned political analysts and threatened to touch off a public
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panic that, as one CIA source put it, "could quickly get out of control."
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White House spokesmen declined to comment, but sources privately
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confirmed that the President's meeting with the alien took place when the
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Secret Service escorted the creature into the White House at 4:36 a.m. on
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April 24.
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They also suggested that the President will address the issue in an
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upcoming news conference, although they could not provide a time or date.
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While analysts scrambled to gauge public reaction, the senators sought
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ways to minimize any negative fallout and put the right spin on the
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creature's revelations.
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Contacted at his office in Washington, Sen. Gramm, R. - Texas, took the
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high road with full and immediate disclosure, saying: "It's all true. We are
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space aliens. And I'm amazed that it's taken you so long to find out.
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"When we read that the other aliens had been exposed in 1992, we knew it
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was only a matter of time before you got the rest of us."
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Less expansive but equally honest was Sen. DeConcini, D. - Ariz. In a
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prepared statement, he said: "As chairman of the Senate Intelligence
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Committee, I am quite distressed. My highly classified cover has been
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blown."
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Sen. Rockefeller, D. - W. Va., cleverly turned questions about the space
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alien heritage into a plug for national health-care reform, saying: "I love it
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here on Earth, but our health-care system is better at home."
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Sen. Heflin, D. - Ala., was obviously taken off-guard by reporters'
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questions. He called the space alien's revelations "surprising" and went on
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to say: "Yes, my parents were Heaven sent."
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Sen. Johnston, D. - La., said: "At least the cat is out of the bag, although
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this isn't exactly the way I intended to tell my family and friends."
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Sen. Dodd, D. - Conn., expressed relief "that all this is public." In the most
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terse response of all, Sen. Cohen, R. - Maine, said, "I admit it."
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Dean's sources said the space alien identified the extraterrestrial senators in
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a 25-minute meeting with President Clinton.
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Dean does not know what else, if anything, was discussed at the meeting.
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"The first question that came to my mind was whether the senators are
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U.S. citizens and eligible to serve in the U.S. Senate," said Dean.
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"From what I understand, they were born in the U.S. and are U.S. citizens.
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It just so happens that their parents were from another world. The senators
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look like ordinary humans," he continued, "but the space alien who met
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with President Clinton had an answer for that, too.
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"He reportedly said the senators looked human 'because they choose to
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look human. It is a simple matter for us to change our forms.' "
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Oddly enough, the extraterrestrial alien refused to pinpoint the planet or
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star system he and the alien senators came from, Dean said.
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The twelve senators identified as space aliens are:
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Christopher Dodd, D. - Connecticut
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Bennett Johnston, D. - Louisiana
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William S. Cohen, R. - Maine
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Dennis DeConcini, D. - Arizona
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Orrin Hatch, R. - Utah
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Nancy Kassebaum, R. - Kansas
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Alan Simpson, R. - Wyoming
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Phil Gramm, R. - Texas
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Howell Heflin, D. - Alabama
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John D. Rockefeller IV, D. - West Virginia
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Sam Nunn, D. - Georgia
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John Glenn, D. - Ohio
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(Transcriber's Note: Christopher Dodd's father was also a senator from
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Connecticut. John D. Rockefeller IV is, as the name indicates, a member of
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the Rockefeller family, which has been powerful in both politics and
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business for several generations. John Glenn was one of the first U.S.
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astronauts, and participated in Projects Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo.)
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