textfiles-politics/old/regexConsp/dark1.xml

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 DARK CONSPIRACY INVOLVING ELECTRICAL POWER COMPANIES SURFACES 
  
  
   Rewritten by the Quantum Mechanic 
  
   (Author Unknown) 
  
   Updated 8/7/88  W0PN 
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For years the electrical utility companies have led the public to believe  
they were in business to supply electricity to the consumer, a service for  
which they charge a substantial rate.  The recent accidental acquisition of  
secret records from a well known power company has led to a massive  
research campaign which positively explodes several myths and exposes the  
massive hoax which has been perpetrated upon the public by the power  
companies. 
 
The most common hoax promoted the false concept that light bulbs emitted  
light;  in actuality, these 'light' bulbs actually absorb DARK which is  
then transported back to the power generation stations via wires.  A more  
descriptive name has now been coined; the new scientific name is for the  
device is DARKSUCKER. 
 
This newsletter introduces a brief synopsis of the darksucker theory,  
which proves the existence of dark and establishes the fact that dark has  
great mass, and further, that dark is the fastest known particle in the  
universe.  Apparently, even the celebrated Dr. Albert Einstein did not  
suspect the truth.. that just as COLD is the absence of HEAT, LIGHT is  
actually the ABSENCE of DARK...  light does not really exist! 
 
The basis of the darksucker theory is that electric light bulbs suck dark. 
Take for example, the darksuckers in the room where you are.  There is much  
less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere, demonstrating their  
limited range.  The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck  
dark.  Darksuckers in a parking lot or on a football field have a much  
greater capacity than the ones in used in the home, for example. 
 
It may come as a surprise to learn that darksuckers also operate on a  
celestial scale; witness the Sun.  Our Sun makes use of dense dark, sucking  
it in from all the planets and intervening dark space.  Naturally, the Sun  
is better able to suck dark from the planets which are situated closer to  
it, thus explaining why those planets appear brighter than do those which  
are far distant from the Sun. 
 
Occasionally, the Sun actually oversucks;  under those conditions, dark  
spots appear on the surface of the Sun.  Scientists have long studied these  
'sunspots' and are only recently beginning to realize that the dark spots  
represent leaks of high pressure dark because the Sun has oversucked dark  
to such an extent that some of actually leaks back into space.  This  
leakage of high pressure dark frequently causes problems with radio  
communications here on Earth due to collisions between the dark particles  
as they stream out into space via the black 'holes' in the surface of the  
Sun. 
 
As with all manmade devices, darksuckers have a finite lifetime.  Once they  
are full of dark, they can no longer suck.  This condition can be observed  
by looking for the black spot on a full darksucker when it has reached  
maximum capacity... you have surely noticed that dark completely surrounds  
a full darksucker because it no longer has the capacity to suck dark at  
all. 
 
A candle is a primitive darksucker.  A new candle has a white wick.  You  
will notice that after the first use the wick turns black, representing all  
the dark which has been sucked into it.  If you hold a pencil next to the  
wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the  
way of the dark flowing into the candle.  Unfortunately, these primitive  
darksuckers have a very limited range and are hazardous to operate because  
of the intense heat produced. 
 
There are also portable darksuckers called flashlights.  The bulbs in these  
devices cannot handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a  
dark storage unit called a battery.  When the dark storage unit is full, it  
must be either emptied (a process called 'recharging') or replaced before  
the portable darksucker can continue to operate.  If you break open a  
battery, you will find dense black dark inside, evidence that it is  
actually a compact dark storage unit. 
 
The darksuckers on your automobile are high capacity units with great  
range, thus they require much larger dark storage units mounted under the  
hood of the vehicle.  Since there is far more dark available in the winter  
season, automobile dark storage units reach capacity more frequently than  
they do in the summer, requiring 'recharging', or in severe cases, total  
replacement. 
  
Dark has great mass.  When dark is drawn into a darksucker, friction caused  
by the speed of the dark particles (called anti-photons) actually generates  
substantial heat, thus it is unwise to touch an operating dark sucker. 
Candles represent a special problem, as the dark must travel into a solid  
wick instead of through clear glass.  This generates a great amount of  
heat, making it very dangerous to touch an operating candle. 
 
Because dark has such great mass, it is very heavy.  If you swim just below  
the surface of a lake, you see a lot of 'light' (absence of dark, to be  
more precise).  As you go deeper and deeper beneath the surface, you notice  
it gets darker and darker.  When you reach a depth of approximately fifty  
feet, you are in total darkness.  This is because the heavier dark sinks to  
the bottom of the lake, making it appear 'lighter' near the surface. 
 
The power companies have learned to use the dark that has settled to the  
bottom of lakes by pushing it through turbines, which generate electricity  
to help push the dark into the ocean where it may be safely stored for  
their devious purposes. 
 
Prior to the development of turbines, it was much more difficult to get the  
dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean.  The Indians recognized this  
problem, and developed means to assist the flow of dark on it's long  
journey to the ocean.  When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same  
direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to impede the  
flow of dark; but when they travelled against the flow of dark, they  
paddled vigorously to help propel the dark along its way. 
  
Scientists are working feverishly to develop exotic new instrumentation with  
which to measure the actual speed and energy level of dark.  While such  
instrumentation is beyond the capabilities of the average layman, you can  
actually perform a simple test to demonstrate the unbelievable speed of  
dark, right in your own home. 
 
All that is required for the simple test is a closed desk drawer situated  
in a bright room.  You know from past experience that the tightly shut  
drawer is FULL of dark.  Now, place your hand firmly on the drawer's  
handle.  Quickly yank the drawer open.. the dark immediately disappears,  
demonstrating the blinding speed with which the dark travels to the nearest  
darksucker! 
 
The secrets of dark are at present known only to the power companies.  Dark  
must be very valuable, since they go to such lengths to collect it in vast  
quantities.  By some well hidden method, more modern power 'generation'  
facilities have devised methods to hide their collection of dark.  The  
older facilities, however, usually have gargantuan piles of solidified dark  
in huge fenced in areas.  Visitors to these facilities are told the huge  
black piles of material are supplies of coal, but such is not the case. 
 
The power companies have long used code words to hide their activities; 
D.C. is Dark Conspiracy, whole A.C. is Alternate Conspiracy.  The intent of  
the A.C. is not yet known, but the D.C. is rapidly yielding it's secrets to  
the probing eyes and instruments of honest scientists around the world. 
New developments are being announced every day and we promise to keep the  
public informed of these announcements as they occur via this newsletter. 
 
Les Dark, Editor 
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