mirror of
https://github.com/nhammer514/textfiles-politics.git
synced 2024-10-01 01:15:38 -04:00
119 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
119 lines
5.1 KiB
Plaintext
|
(From the Weekly World News, June 7, 1994)
|
||
|
|
||
|
Shocking confessions rock nation's capital!
|
||
|
|
||
|
12 U.S. SENATORS ARE SPACE ALIENS!
|
||
|
|
||
|
by Nick Mann - Special report
|
||
|
|
||
|
WASHINGTON - A space alien who stunned the world by revealing that
|
||
|
five U.S. Senators were extraterrestrials in 1992 dropped another
|
||
|
bombshell when he met with President Bill Clinton in the White House just
|
||
|
days ago -- and named seven more senators who hail from distant planets!
|
||
|
|
||
|
And far from denying the extraterrestrial's allegations, Senators Phil
|
||
|
Gramm, Dennis DeConcini, John D. Rockefeller IV, Bennett Johnston,
|
||
|
Howell Heflin, Christopher Dodd, and William S. Cohen conceded that
|
||
|
"the time is right to make our true identities known."
|
||
|
|
||
|
"Senators John Glenn, Orrin Hatch, Nancy Kassebaum, Sam Nunn, and
|
||
|
Alan Simpson came out of the alien closet two years ago and now we find
|
||
|
that seven more senators are not from Earth," said author and UFO expert
|
||
|
Nathaniel Dean, who identified the first group of space alien senators in a
|
||
|
news conference that made international headlines in November 1992.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The implications," he continued, "are almost beyond comprehension. For
|
||
|
one thing, we now know that the destiny of the most powerful nation on
|
||
|
Earth is being shaped and guided by entities who aren't even human.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"I'm not saying that this is bad, because it might very well be good.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"If the universe is inhabited by other creatures and civilizations, we need to
|
||
|
know about them.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"We also need linkage.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"And if nothing else, these space alien legislators can serve as our links to a
|
||
|
world that is even more advanced than our own."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Dean's report stunned political analysts and threatened to touch off a public
|
||
|
panic that, as one CIA source put it, "could quickly get out of control."
|
||
|
|
||
|
White House spokesmen declined to comment, but sources privately
|
||
|
confirmed that the President's meeting with the alien took place when the
|
||
|
Secret Service escorted the creature into the White House at 4:36 a.m. on
|
||
|
April 24.
|
||
|
|
||
|
They also suggested that the President will address the issue in an
|
||
|
upcoming news conference, although they could not provide a time or date.
|
||
|
|
||
|
While analysts scrambled to gauge public reaction, the senators sought
|
||
|
ways to minimize any negative fallout and put the right spin on the
|
||
|
creature's revelations.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Contacted at his office in Washington, Sen. Gramm, R. - Texas, took the
|
||
|
high road with full and immediate disclosure, saying: "It's all true. We are
|
||
|
space aliens. And I'm amazed that it's taken you so long to find out.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"When we read that the other aliens had been exposed in 1992, we knew it
|
||
|
was only a matter of time before you got the rest of us."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Less expansive but equally honest was Sen. DeConcini, D. - Ariz. In a
|
||
|
prepared statement, he said: "As chairman of the Senate Intelligence
|
||
|
Committee, I am quite distressed. My highly classified cover has been
|
||
|
blown."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Sen. Rockefeller, D. - W. Va., cleverly turned questions about the space
|
||
|
alien heritage into a plug for national health-care reform, saying: "I love it
|
||
|
here on Earth, but our health-care system is better at home."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Sen. Heflin, D. - Ala., was obviously taken off-guard by reporters'
|
||
|
questions. He called the space alien's revelations "surprising" and went on
|
||
|
to say: "Yes, my parents were Heaven sent."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Sen. Johnston, D. - La., said: "At least the cat is out of the bag, although
|
||
|
this isn't exactly the way I intended to tell my family and friends."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Sen. Dodd, D. - Conn., expressed relief "that all this is public." In the most
|
||
|
terse response of all, Sen. Cohen, R. - Maine, said, "I admit it."
|
||
|
|
||
|
Dean's sources said the space alien identified the extraterrestrial senators in
|
||
|
a 25-minute meeting with President Clinton.
|
||
|
|
||
|
Dean does not know what else, if anything, was discussed at the meeting.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"The first question that came to my mind was whether the senators are
|
||
|
U.S. citizens and eligible to serve in the U.S. Senate," said Dean.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"From what I understand, they were born in the U.S. and are U.S. citizens.
|
||
|
It just so happens that their parents were from another world. The senators
|
||
|
look like ordinary humans," he continued, "but the space alien who met
|
||
|
with President Clinton had an answer for that, too.
|
||
|
|
||
|
"He reportedly said the senators looked human 'because they choose to
|
||
|
look human. It is a simple matter for us to change our forms.' "
|
||
|
|
||
|
Oddly enough, the extraterrestrial alien refused to pinpoint the planet or
|
||
|
star system he and the alien senators came from, Dean said.
|
||
|
|
||
|
The twelve senators identified as space aliens are:
|
||
|
Christopher Dodd, D. - Connecticut
|
||
|
Bennett Johnston, D. - Louisiana
|
||
|
William S. Cohen, R. - Maine
|
||
|
Dennis DeConcini, D. - Arizona
|
||
|
Orrin Hatch, R. - Utah
|
||
|
Nancy Kassebaum, R. - Kansas
|
||
|
Alan Simpson, R. - Wyoming
|
||
|
Phil Gramm, R. - Texas
|
||
|
Howell Heflin, D. - Alabama
|
||
|
John D. Rockefeller IV, D. - West Virginia
|
||
|
Sam Nunn, D. - Georgia
|
||
|
John Glenn, D. - Ohio
|
||
|
|
||
|
(Transcriber's Note: Christopher Dodd's father was also a senator from
|
||
|
Connecticut. John D. Rockefeller IV is, as the name indicates, a member of
|
||
|
the Rockefeller family, which has been powerful in both politics and
|
||
|
business for several generations. John Glenn was one of the first U.S.
|
||
|
astronauts, and participated in Projects Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo.)
|
||
|
|