                    Canada's Young Offender's Act
                    And how to take advantage of it!

                    By: Reno
                    

First there are three age groups you need to know about:
16 and 17 year olds, those from 12 to 15 years old, and those under
12.

If you are 16 or 17 and commit a crime, if it is very violent, things
like murder or rape, you will probably be switched to an adult court
with adult penalties.  Other than that, if you don't have an extensive
criminal record, and play it up to the police, crown prosecutor and
the courts, doing things like crying and saying you are sorry, you 
will get away with any crime that does not involve weapons with 
nothing more than "community service" or a "suspended sentence".
If you have committed murder your best bet is to say that you "hear
voices" so they think you are crazy and send you to a hospital for
the criminally insane, but if you "get better" over the next 6 months
and claim you don't hear the voices telling you to commit crimes 
anymore, you will be let off scott-free.  Normally, you will never
be identified publicly, with the exception of if they get a special
court order for the media if they are looking for you and you have
committed a violent crime.

If you are 12 to 15 years old, you are covered by the Young Offenders
Act and can not be transferred to adult court under any circumstances.
The most jail time you can serve is 3 years, and only murders will get
that.  Of course if your parents have money, if you kill off your whole
family, you will get 3 years in a juvenile facility (school, games, TV,
pizzas, etc.) which isn't bad if you will be the only survivor and will
inherit half a million dollars once you get out.  That would work out
to you getting over $160,000 a year for time in the facility; well worth
it.  If you don't commit violent crimes and put on a good show, with crying
and saying you are sorry, even for B&E's and organized theft rings
you will at the most get some "community service".  You can never be
publicly identified for your crimes.

This means that you can organize swarmings of people to rob them, or
swarm a whole store, and rip off the stuff they sell and the cash
register's and get no jail time, just a bit of time help out a church
group or in a old peoples home.

You will still get stiffer sentences for things like rape but there
are ways around that.  If your local friendly drug dealer can get you
either "Roofies" (Rohypnol) or Halcyon, drop it in a drink (even a
pop drink) you give to a girl.  In about 15 minutes for the Roofies,
or about half an hour for the Halcyon, they will be somewhat drunk and
will not remember what happened during the next 4 hours.  You can do
whatever you want to them and they won't remember a thing!

If you are under 12, you are home free.  You CANT BE CRIMINALLY CHARGED
WITH ANY CRIMES IN CANADA.  You literally can get away with murder!
This means if you want to organize a gang, it is best that you teach
those under 12 years old to do the murders and the selling of drugs,
while you older guys do the swarmings, trashings, store thefts and
manage the gang.

Remember never talk to the cops.  By law, you have to tell the pigs
who you are, but if you are going to be charged anyways, why tell them
even that?  Beyond identifying yourself, you don't have to legally tell  
them anything, so don't.  And if you are questioned, demand a lawyer.  

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