clarify phrasing and small edits from feedback

content/posts/nophones/index.md

@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ In a [recent repressive operation](https://notrace.how/resources/#ivan) against
 
 If you don't leave the house with a phone, the police will have to resort to physical surveillance to determine your whereabouts, which is resource-intensive and detectable. If you are ever placed under physical surveillance, the investigator's first step is to understand your "movement profile," and your phone's geolocation history provides a detailed picture of your daily patterns.  
 
-Some anarchists respond to the problems with smartphones by using flip phones or landlines to communicate with each other, but these devices do not support [encrypted communication](/glossary/#end-to-end-encryption-e2ee), so the State learns who is talking to whom and what they are talking about. A primary goal of targeted surveillance is to map the target's social network in order to identify other targets. The only way to avoid giving this information to our enemies is to use only [encrypted mediums](/posts/e2ee/) to communicate with other anarchists through technology.
+Some anarchists respond to the problems with smartphones by using flip phones or landlines to communicate with each other, but this isn't a good solution. Flip phones and landlines do not support [encrypted communication](/glossary/#end-to-end-encryption-e2ee), so the State learns who is talking to whom and what they are talking about. A primary goal of targeted surveillance is to map the target's social network in order to identify other targets. The only way to avoid giving this information to our enemies is to use only [encrypted mediums](/posts/e2ee/) to communicate with other anarchists through technology.
 
 # Metadata Patterns
 
@@ -40,9 +40,9 @@ Phones have colonized everyday life because people have been instilled with the
 
 If you decide to use a phone, in order to make it as difficult as possible for an adversary to geotrack it, intercept its messages, or hack it, use [GrapheneOS](/posts/grapheneos/). If we can agree to **only use [encrypted communications](/posts/e2ee/) to communicate with other anarchists**, this rules out flip phones and landlines. GrapheneOS is the only smartphone operating system that provides reasonable privacy and security. 
 
-**To prevent your movements from being tracked, treat the smartphone like a landline and leave it at home when you are out of the house**. Even if you use an anonymously purchased SIM card, if it is linked to your identity in the future, the service provider can be retroactively queried for geolocation data. If you use the phone as we recommend (as a [Wi-Fi only device](/posts/grapheneos/#what-is-grapheneos) that is kept in airplane mode at all times), cell towers won't be able to connect to it. It's not sufficient to only leave the phone at home when you're going to a meeting, demo or action because that will be an outlier from your normal pattern of behaviour and serve as an indication that criminal activity is taking place in that time window. 
+**To prevent your movements from being tracked, treat the smartphone like a landline and leave it at home when you are out of the house**. Even if you use an anonymously purchased SIM card, if it is linked to your identity in the future, the service provider can be retroactively queried for geolocation data. If you use the phone as we recommend (as a [Wi-Fi only device](/posts/grapheneos/#what-is-grapheneos) that is kept in airplane mode at all times), it won't connect to cell towers. It's not sufficient to only leave the phone at home when you're going to a meeting, demo or action because that will be an outlier from your normal pattern of behaviour and serve as an indication that criminal activity is taking place in that time window. 
 
-You may choose to live without phones entirely, if you don't feel that you need an "encrypted landline". The strategies for minimizing the need for phones that follow rely on computers, where synchronous communication is also possible but more limited.
+You may choose to live without phones entirely, if you don't feel that you need an "encrypted landline". The following strategies for minimizing the need for phones rely on computers, where synchronous communication is also possible but more limited.
 
 ## Bureaucracy 
 
@@ -50,10 +50,10 @@ Many bureaucratic institutions that we are forced to deal with make it difficult
 
 Any VoIP application that is available on a computer is asynchronous because it doesn't ring when the computer is off — you rely on the voicemail feature to return missed calls. For example, a service like [jmp.chat](https://www.kicksecure.com/wiki/Mobile_Phone_Security#Phone_Number_Registration_Unlinked_to_SIM_Card) gives you a VoIP number, which you can pay for in Bitcoin, and you make calls using an XMPP application — [Cheogram](https://cheogram.com/) works well.
 
-Though usually more expensive than VoIP, a flip phone or landline also works well for making and receiving 'bureaucratic' calls from home, like those mentioned above. 
-
 VoIP usually works for any [two-factor authentication](/glossary/#two-factor-authentication-2fa) (2FA) you need (when a service requires you to receive a random number to log in). [Online phone numbers](https://anonymousplanet.org/guide.html#online-phone-number) are another option. 
 
+Though usually more expensive than VoIP, a dedicated flip phone or landline also works well for making and receiving 'bureaucratic' calls from home, like those mentioned above. 
+
 ## Communication
 
 Not carrying a phone everywhere requires a change in the way you socialize if you are [already caught in the net](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/return-fire-vol-4-supplement-caught-in-the-net). Being intentional about minimizing the mediation of screens in our relationships is a valuable goal in and of itself.